Google, Are you Serious?!

17 Mar

In case you missed it, Matt Cutts announced that Google now wants your help in reporting Link Spam.
This tells me one thing.


Why does Google need our help? It’s because they know their algorithm still can’t tell the difference between a ‘real’ link on a site compared to a ‘spammy’ link like we humans can just by looking at a site.

They also know that whiny marketers and crappy seo providers will use this in an attempt to rid their competition. Since they suck at what they do, they resort to tactics like these in order to make themselves feel better.

Now back to Google. I love their definition of a Link Scheme. (opens new window)

Let’s drill into some examples of what they consider a “Scheme”
1.) Links intended to manipulate PageRank
Um…let’s see. If you do seo, isn’t just about every link you ask for doing this?

2.) Links to web spammers or bad neighborhoods on the web
How do I know someone is a link spammer? Do they advertise it? Can I Google that phrase and it will list all the people labeled that? O-wait, Google will determine that for me with the help of other suck-ass internet marketers who can’t get anything ranked. Bad neighborhoods? Well Google, would you please define that for me? Just as in real life, most times good people live in bad places – why are you profiling?

3.) Excessive reciprocal links or excessive link exchanging (“Link to me and I’ll link to you.”)
Are you fucking kidding me? Hello, THIS IS THE INTERNET, don’t tell me who the fuck I can link to – if I run a coffee shop and my friend is a mechanic, why wouldn’t we link to each other? Oh, because it’s not ‘relevant’.
TOUGH SHIT GOOGLE, make your algorithm better.

4.) Buying or selling links that pass PageRank
Right. YOU created this monster by making it an industry where people make money, and all of a sudden you want to penalize people for capitalizing on it. O-wait, now I know why, it’s because GOOGLE doesn’t have a hand in it, and they aren’t making any money from it. Boo fucking hoo.

And I love this doozy:
“The best way to get other sites to create relevant links to yours is to create unique, relevant content that can quickly gain popularity in the Internet community. The more useful content you have, the greater the chances someone else will find that content valuable to their readers and link to it.”

Let’s see. so, according to Google, all I need to do is make magical and wonderful content SOO good that Google will somehow not only find my site, but RANK IT AS WELL!?


Only people who just started learning about search or noob webmasters will actually believe this line of crap. Tell me Google, without LINKS POINTING TO MY SITE, how the FUCK WILL YOU FIND MY SITE?!

I could have Jesus Christ writing new content for the Bible but if I don’t have links pointing to it, GOOGLE will NEVER find it.

Fuck you and your high horse Google, you scrape, “index” my site’s content, then turn around and sell ads so that advertisers might be lured away while on my site.

As you might have noticed, this site doesn’t have any ads on it. Now, I’m not going to lie and tell you that I don’t have other sites that run AdWords, but those are sites built waiting to get raped from Google so that the gloriously good content found will not only get ranked, but serve up some great ads from Google’s sucker network.

I don’t care that Google is profiting from all this. What I care about is their “Holier-than-thou” attitude and how supposedly they are apparently fucking perfect.

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